Things I Say to Myself About Japanese Men


Shout out to Matsuda Shota for being this fine specimen
*heart eyes*

This one's just for shits and giggles. So please, don't be offended. If you know me at all, you know I'm a sarcastic bitch. :)

"What's up with your hair? Who told you that looks good?" I think everyone is aware of what the common hairstyle is for Japanese men. It's terrible. Because it hasn't changed for years! I wanna say decades, but don't quote me on that. It's so dated. And they make it look so textured and messy and just... no. Some of them literally look like they just rolled out of bed. I actually am a fan of that "purposely messy" look, but not here... It's just... bad. And I'm sorry, but bangs don't work on everyone.

"Why do your eyebrows look like that?" Sometimes, I think that Japanese men shape their eyebrows more than the women do. No, not sometimes. ALL the time. WHY. And they like to make it super skinny and arched. Like...What. The. Fuck. And not to mention, they trim it so short that their eyebrows look like stubble. Like as if they actually shave it, but haven't in a few days. WHY.

"You all are so damn skinny." It's true that it's very out of the ordinary to see an overweight Japanese person. But, guys take it to another level, they are twigs! I look at them and I'm just like, "Bro, you need to eat more." I don't know about the rest of you ladies (or non-gender specific humans that are attracted to men), but I'd probably prefer if my boyfriend/husband weighed more than me...because, you know...I'd probably break you (LOL). Maybe that's just me, though.

"Did you learn any manners?" It would be a nice gesture if you held the door open for me if I'm right behind you or it you let me have the last seat on the train, instead of trying to out-walk me to it. Just saying. But, maybe that's the gendered-norms conformist in me speaking.

"Whatchu got in your manpurse?" EVERY man carries a manpurse. Okay, maybe that's exaggerating. Almost every man carries a manpurse. 95% of the male population carries a manpurse (my rough estimation). What do you have in there? I'm not going to lie, sometimes, I'm a fan. Sometimes, it really pulls an outfit together nicely. Like so:


Very nice. And this one, too:


I'd be very pleased if my father dressed like that.

But, this one...


No words... Just, SORRY. NO.

Tokyo is one of the fashion capitals of the world. I wish all of the men in all of Japan looked like the handsome, fashionable ones we see in the media. But, that is not the case, my friends...

As you can see, I have a lot of fun observing people here.